Voice pack · dealing now

Meet Sally.

Sal has competition. She deals the late game across town: same clock, same blinds, same filthy mouth, but she's quicker than Sal, meaner than Sal, and unlike Sal, she gets tipped. Book her for a game, or switch to her in the timer, and every call from then on is hers.

Sally “Snake Eyes” SantoroDealer 02 · 30 lines · explicit
Read her lines Start with Sal, 30 days freeThen $7.99/mo. Consider it Sal's tip.

Sal stays the default · Sally is one switch away

Sally “Snake Eyes” Santoro behind her rail: green dealer visor knocked sideways, black bob with a hot pink streak, winged liner, tattooed forearms, flicking the queen of hearts. Click to poke her.

Dealer voices

Pick who runs your night.

Sal stays the default. Pick Sally and she takes every call: the opener, every blind raise, every break. Book her per game on My games, or make her the timer's house dealer for the nights you start straight from the clock. This is that switch.

Dealer voice Timer · Settings · Preview
Later Dealer 03 Not cast yet Room for more voices. Sal has concerns. 0 linesLocked

House dealer: Sal. The default, like always.

Meet the dealer

Anatomy of a bad influence.

Sal has been dealing since seven. Sally showed up at nine, took over his table, and nobody has tipped Sal since.

  1. The money piece

    Hot pink. Paid for entirely with your rebuys.

  2. The spade

    One for every table she's cleaned out. The rest are somewhere you'll never see.

  3. The garter

    On the arm, where dealers wear it. Get your mind out of the gutter.

  4. The snake

    Wrist to elbow. His name is Rake. He takes ten percent.

  1. The visor

    Regulation green, worn at an irregular angle. Sal has filed a complaint.

  2. The eyes

    Winged liner sharp enough to cut the deck. She clocked your tell from the parking lot.

  3. The heart

    Said SAL for eleven days in 2019. Nobody talks about it.

  4. The stack

    Her tips. Sal would like to know how.

Her lines

Thirty lines. All of them rude.

Sal's slots and one more opener: five openers, twenty blind raises and five breaks, pulled from a shuffled bag so nobody hears a repeat in the same night. Four of the openers are printed here. The fifth you hear at the table.

When the game starts

Alright, degenerates. Phones down, chips up, eyes on me. I deal, you lose, and nobody touches the fucking deck but me. Shuffle up and deal, sweethearts.”

one of 4
When the blinds go up

Loosen those wallets, boys. I like a big stack, not a big talker.”

one of 20
At the break

Break time! Go pee, go smoke, go cry in the car. Ten minutes, then your asses are back in those seats.”

one of 5
Read the script

Openers · 4 of 5

  1. Alright, degenerates. Phones down, chips up, eyes on me. I deal, you lose, and nobody touches the fucking deck but me. Shuffle up and deal, sweethearts.
  2. Evening, boys. I've seen your stacks, and honestly? Cute. Let's see how long they last. Cards in the air.
  3. Welcome to my table. House rules: tip the dealer, don't cry at the table, and if you slow-roll anybody, I will end you. Let's fucking go.
  4. Look at all these big men with their little stacks. Blinds are live, the clock is running, and somebody's about to lose their rent money. I'll be watching. Shuffle up and deal.

Blinds up · 20

  1. Blinds are up, boys. Try to keep up.
  2. Blinds up. Cute stack, sweetheart. Shame about it.
  3. New level, same bad decisions. God, I love it here.
  4. Blinds are up. If you're gonna fold, fold pretty.
  5. Loosen those wallets, boys. I like a big stack, not a big talker.
  6. Up we go. Pay the lady.
  7. Blinds up. Dave, honey, that's not a bluff. That's a cry for help.
  8. Blinds up. Randy, sweetie, that's still not a straight.
  9. Blinds are up. Tighten up or tip up. Your call.
  10. Blinds up. Short stacks, panic. Big stacks, don't get cocky.
  11. Stop staring at me and look at your fucking cards. Blinds are up.
  12. Level up, degenerates. Shove or shut up.
  13. Blinds up. Somebody pay Marcus his forty bucks.
  14. Blinds up. Hope you brought more than good looks, because you didn't bring those either.
  15. Blinds are up. The big blind is hungry. Feed it.
  16. Limping again? Pathetic. Blinds are up. Raise like you've got a pair.
  17. Up they go. Can't afford it? The couch is right there.
  18. Blinds up. I've got all night, boys. Your stacks don't.
  19. Blinds are up, fuckers. Chop chop.
  20. Blinds up. Denise, quit sandbagging. We all see it.

Breaks · 5

  1. Break time! Go pee, go smoke, go cry in the car. Ten minutes, then your asses are back in those seats.
  2. Ten-minute break. Hands off the chips. I counted, and I'll know.
  3. Break! Stretch your legs, refill your drinks, and rethink every fucking decision you've made tonight.
  4. Take ten, boys. The dealer needs a drink, and after watching you play, so do you.
  5. Break time. Don't call your wife, don't open your bank app. Just breathe, sweetheart.

Every one of them recorded. Book her for a game, or pick her in the timer.

How it works

One switch. Every line.

Sal stays the default

Every subscription deals with Sal. Nobody has to choose anything.

Same slots, her mouth

She fills the same moments Sal does, so the clock, the bag and the mute key work exactly the same.

Per game, or on the spot

Pick her when you book a game and the timer deals that game with her. A night you start straight from the timer goes to whoever you pick there, and D switches dealers mid-game.

Sal's dealing tonight. Unless you book Sally.

Every subscription comes with both: invites out, clock running, standings kept, and a mouth on whoever's dealing the whole time.

Deal me in, 30 days freeThen $7.99/mo. Consider it Sal's tip.