Terms of service.

Last updated September 4, 2026

01Who's dealing

"Degenerate Dealer", "we" and "the house" mean Degenerate Dealer, the company that makes The Dirty Poker Timer and whatever we ship next. "You" means the person who made the account. These terms cover the website, the account, the subscription and the software. By making an account you're agreeing to them.

02Your account

You need to be 18 or older — the dealer's language is not for kids, and we mean that literally. One person per account. You're responsible for what happens under it, so pick a real password and don't hand it around the table. Tell us if you think somebody else has it.

03The subscription

• One plan: Table Stakes, US$6.99 a month, billed monthly on the day you signed up.
• Payment is handled by our payment processor. We never see or store your card number.
• The subscription renews automatically until you cancel it.
• If we ever change the price, we'll email you at least 30 days before it takes effect, and you can cancel before then at the old price.
• Taxes are added where the law says they have to be.

04Cancelling and refunds

Cancel any time from your account page: one click, no phone call, no exit survey. Your seat stays open until the end of the month you've already paid for, and you won't be charged again. We don't refund partial months — seven bucks, we're keeping the paperwork light — except where the law where you live requires it, in which case the law wins.

05Using the software

While your subscription is active you get a personal, non-transferable licence to install and run our software on up to three machines you own or control. You can't resell it, rent it, share the account, or strip out the licence check. You can't reverse-engineer it, except where the law lets you regardless of what we say here. The software and the dealer's voice are ours; the blind structures and player lists you make in it are yours.

06The voice

The dealer swears. That's the product. It is explicit, it is deliberate, and there's a mute key if you're hosting the church group after all. Don't use the recordings outside the software, and don't put them in front of anyone under 18.

07What we don't promise

The software is provided as is. It's a clock: we've built it to be accurate to the second across a whole night, and if it isn't we genuinely want to hear about it, but we don't guarantee it'll be uninterrupted, error-free, or right for the particular way you run your game. It doesn't decide who wins, it doesn't hold money, and it isn't legal advice on whether your game is allowed where you live. That one's on you.

08Liability

To the extent the law allows, our total liability to you for anything to do with the service is capped at what you paid us in the twelve months before the claim, and we're not liable for indirect or consequential losses — including, for the avoidance of doubt, the money you lost with pocket jacks. Some places don't allow limits like these, so they may not apply to you.

09Changes to these terms

If we change something that matters, we'll email you and give you 30 days before it applies. Keep using the service after that and you've accepted the new version. If you don't like it, cancel; we'll be sad, briefly.

10Contact

Questions about any of this: talk to the house. A person reads it. Sal does not.